Introspection with Keigo
by LunaBianca
Summary: Surprisingly deep thoughts of and about Keigo. It takes cunning to play a proper fool. Mangaverse drabble collection; nakama-centric.
1. On Violence

This collection's title and format are inspired by the first fan fiction I ever read, Introspections with Chad by Saigo no Hajime. I dedicate this story to my sister-Kashlock-who introduced me to FFnet (and BLEACH, incidentally).

I always wondered about Keigo: was there anything more to him than comic relief? And then he thoroughly impressed me in the Deicide arc. So it's taken a few years, but I decided to finally write out some of my "Keigo thoughts." If anything, it distracts me from my disenchantment with the manga's current Thousand Year War arc. Enjoy.

.o0o.

**On Violence**

Keigo didn't get off on pain, but he clung to behaviors that invited it. Shouting salutations at Ichigo, waxing lascivious about girls, erupting into shrieks and tears at real and imagined slights. The school day commenced with Ichigo's standard kick/clothesline/fist-in-face greeting and was peppered with corporal punishment courtesy of Arisawa.

It's not that Keigo couldn't make the connection between his actions and the brutal consequences, but he accepted them.

Back in junior high Keigo realized he wasn't a standout in any arena. Not a brainiac, jock, trendsetter or heartthrob. The outsiders (as they always are) were paradoxically cliquish. Keigo craved connection with peers but didn't know how to achieve it. He needed to differentiate himself and become "that guy."

So he started capitalizing on his own-somewhat frequent-social faux pas and physical blunders, spinning them into comedic stunts.

Keigo's wacky persona obscured a rather keen eye for social dynamics. He noticed his classmates' quiet crushes, hidden insecurities, subtle talents. When he started at Karakura High he saw past Kurosaki's scowl and delinquent reputation to the guy who inspired and offered utter loyalty. The carrot top was a brawler, no doubt, but he wasn't a bully. Ichigo was a punk, his best friend "Chad" was a mutant, and a jester just might find a place with people who didn't put up with teenage social hierarchy bullshit.

Keigo and Mizuiro kept showing up at Ichigo's lunch table seemingly impervious to Ichigo's glower and Chad's imposing silence and everyone got used to the routine. Through Ichigo, Keigo met Arisawa and the goddess Inoue. Keigo was as obnoxious as ever, but his new friends possessed some social clairvoyance themselves and played along.

He knew that his acceptance wasn't contingent on playing the fool (he was aware that "annoying" was one of his _nicest_ epithets), but Keigo could admit that his public image wasn't totally off the mark and it did help the group-particularly Ichigo-let off steam and loosen up. At the cost of a kidney punch here, a hallway tripping there, and being the brunt of a dozen jokes before the final bell, Keigo had an identity and circle of nakama. A sense of belonging no matter how volubly he wailed to the contrary.

AN: Thanks for reading. I'd love to know what you think.


	2. Tatsuki

**Tatsuki**

Post-Arrancar War the broad strokes of Keigo's life were the same. The nuances were profound.

Arisawa became "Tatsuki," for one. They didn't talk about staggering through deserted streets with classmates on their backs, but sometimes after lunch Keigo would stand at the roof railing and look out over Karakura and Tatsuki would come stand silently beside him. Keigo didn't mask his pensive expression and she almost slumped against the rail, her vigilant fighter's stance drained away as if leaking from her scuffed loafers. These fleeting tableaux were always devoid of dialogue and pretense.

Back in the noisy corridors and classrooms Keigo and Tatsuki behaved as they always had: he was a juvenile jackass and she the bristling feminist quick to smack him around. But their unknown participation in _the __freaking __apocalypse_ forged an awareness between them. Without discussion or acknowledgement of new familiarity, they now addressed each other with their given names.

They did have a frank conversation once about the confrontation with Aizen. "Tatsuki, I know you told me to run, that there was nothing I could do -"

"I did. It was the truth."

"Yeah, but I regret it. I don't want to be a guy who only saves his own ass. Ichigo charged me with protecting you. And you're a girl, so naturally - "

_Wack__!_ "Like I need protection from you, Keigo!" growled Tatsuki. "Actually, I do need protection _from_ you, your roving eyes and hands."

Keigo's sincere eyes snagged hers. "I would never treat you that way." Then, "you lack a certain lushness as exemplified by Inoue-san and Honshō-..."

...

If Mizuiro hadn't over the years developed preternatural awareness of his immediate physical space so he could text while walking, he would've tripped over Keigo's mangled body instead of purposely stepping down between his friend's shoulder blades.


	3. Kurosaki-sensei

**Kurosaki****-****sensei**

The consensus was unanimous: Ichigo's dad is annoying as hell.

Ichigo wasn't one to talk much, especially about his home life; but before Keigo ever met the elder Kurosaki, he was used to Ichigo's hostile comments about the man. Ichigo hinted at all manner of familial dysfunction but Keigo wrote off his complaints as part of the tortured antihero image Ichigo cultivated. Then Keigo met Kurosaki-sensei at the festival.

The bearded doctor was refreshing at first, embracing the holiday as Keigo wished his friends would. He had front row seats for the fireworks show? He wanted to check out cuties in kimonos? Sweet. Keigo was gonna hang with Kurosaki-sensei.

But the guy never. Shut. Up. Kurosaki-sensei caromed from stall to stall, bits of dango and candy floss stuck to his roguish stubble. He babbled with the self-absorption (and volume) of a four year-old.

At one point Kurosaki-sensei pulled from Kami-knows-where in his kimono a sizable poster of a smiling woman and, sobbing rivers of tears, wailed that his children didn't love him and never willingly spent time with him. He fantasized their cruelty would drive him into an early grave, but then they'd have a deathbed reconciliation where the bawling girls would snuggle into his bare (still chiseled) chest while Ichigo pledged to name the firstborn of his (many) sons Isshin and train them for combat using the revered Kurosaki technique...

The real Karin and Yuzu began to blubber in earnest. They were drunk because their nutjob father knowingly let the eleven year-olds chug down spiked punch at the festival. What the hell! Keigo was beginning to understand why Ichigo was so hung up on the guy. Who in their right mind would respect or spend any time with such a needy freak?

Kurosaki-sensei might be mentally impaired; could there be any other explanation for his episodic emotional exhibitionism? If Keigo ever lost it like that, he hoped someone would end him. Maybe that Afro-san samurai dude would run him through. Wait, the prop sword was probably dull... Oh well, Keigo didn't have to worry because he'd never become so ridiculous.


	4. Kuchiki, part 1

So, I think it's obvious, but these drabbles aren't chronological. They skip around a lot. Please let me know if you get confused. ;)

.o0o.

**Kuchiki****, ****part**** 1**

Always the same two questions: how pretty is she? and what are my chances? Keigo had a nearly mystical compulsion to catalog the female population of Karakura High. He reflexively-and _mostly_ silently-rated every girl he saw, and not just the ones at school. (He also kept mental rankings of Girls Seen on Way To and From School; Corner Market Chicks; his sister Mizuho's Friends; Babes at the Park/Arcade/Tea House...)

But Keigo's fellow students were the focus of his attention as they were the most plausible girlfriend candidates. The first few weeks of his freshman year were harrowing as Keigo was always glimpsing new faces to evaluate (uh, yeah, _faces_) as he traversed the campus.

When Ochi-sensei announced a new transfer student Keigo stopped spinning his pencil atop the desk and straightened up for a better view. Kuchiki Rukia was definitely stunning with pale flawless skin and wide smoky eyes, if excessively petite around the chest. Those legs were fabulously long for her frame and her rear was likely perfect; further study was warranted.

He watched Kuchiki-san watch others. She discreetly yet continually observed the other schoolgirls and began mimicking them. Her posture melted into her desk a bit, she crossed her legs. Kuchiki-san didn't pay much attention to the lecture or the several boys checking her out; her eyes periodically flicked to Ichigo sitting in the neighboring desk, though.

Ichigo ignored the new girl with an intensity bordering on malice. Keigo was practically across the room but saw the throbbing vein at his temple and noticed his hands contract into fists once or twice when Kuchiki's eyes cut over to him. Curious.

Kuchiki-san was very contained until pulled into conversation; then she deflected personal questions with demure smiles and fluttering gestures. Her sing-song voice had an awkward cadence, almost archaic, but her speech patterns were shifting, normalizing slightly as the day wore on. Their classmates seemed to regard her as odd, but not suspicious.

Keigo could easily spot a performance when he saw one; he was an actor himself, after all.

Whatever else Kuchiki Rukia was, she was sharp, adaptable and very definitely hiding something.

AN: Good, bad, meh? All reviews appreciated.


	5. Chad

**Chad**

Most observers pegged Keigo and Chad as opposites: melodramatic and stoic, chatty and silent, scrawny and muscle-bound, slacker and scholar. All true. What people usually missed were the similarities.

Both men were people-watchers. They naturally noted body language, listened not only to speech but tone as well, and kept track of individual and group movement in the vicinity. So Chad and Keigo had a heightened awareness of what people felt and were likely to do.

This insight fostered empathy and protectiveness. Chad used his strong body to toss bullies off rooftops and catch falling steel girders. Keigo distracted and appeased baddies (or tried to) and clowned around to raise morale. Other times protection-of feelings or reputation-was woven from uncharacteristic words from Chad or silence from Keigo.

They were touchstones for Ichigo, grounding him in the Human World in different ways. Chad's absolute commitment to fight only for others' sakes reinforced Ichigo's resolve to protect and helped to keep his own blood lust-or hollow?-in check during skirmishes. The hulking teen's unusual looks and orphan status also helped Ichigo relax about his distinctive hair, motherless upbringing, and the character slurs frequently slung at the duo.

Keigo's petty teenage concerns and planned group activities reminded Ichigo he had a life to live on Earth. That he had an identity outside of "scary kid" shinigami and mistrusted saviour of three dimensions. Questions about girls and career plans emphasized that Ichigo still had some choices no matter how the cosmos fucked with him-and that his nakama valued Ichigo for himself and not his former immense power.

The differences between Chad and Keigo were real and markedly obvious. But just as real were the similarities, how each kept deep thoughts to himself, was influential in ways few noticed, and was primarily identified by Karakura High students as "Ichigo's friend."


	6. Girls

Sometimes when I feel the capricious chaos of my life takes on a malevolent sentience I console myself that things could be worse: I could be living in a manga. *self deprecating chuckle* Anyhoo, that's all to say that I think about this story even when I'm not actively writing or updating and I hope you'll hang with me through sporadic updates. All reviews are welcome, so please lay it on me. ;)

A/N: I struggled to pin down the timing of this piece. For my purposes, this is during the Winter War after Keigo's learned more about who's involved in the spiritual conflict and how, right around the time Orihime's abducted. Not really copacetic but I ran out of fucks.

.o0o.

**Girls**

Knockers, ta-tas, jugs, hooters, titties. Keigo was a boob man. His dream woman was as clichéd as Keigo himself: hourglass figure, long lustrous hair, dewy rosebud mouth and ingénue eyes.

Inoue Orihime was Keigo's ideal woman. Well, almost. She certainly featured regularly in his sexual fantasies. She was feminine in the extreme, friendly and pure. (Genuinely odd, but eccentricity is charming when its host is beautiful and seemingly harmless.)

Inoue was a princess like her namesake. She possessed all the virtues, was persecuted by an evil foe, and ready to fall in love (already in love?) with a rescuing samurai. She _deserved_ warrior princes and a happily ever after. And as humble as Inoue was, as fiercely as she built up resolve and independence-she was holding out for a hero.

Keigo would never be a dashing hero like Ichigo or even Ishida. He could never claim more than kindness from the hime, even if more were offered; she burned too brightly and his heart would find no rest in that sea of brilliance. So Keigo accepted her social courtesy for what it was (cordiality, not flirtation) and sometimes thought of Inoue or her friend Matsumoto or some similar-looking centerfold vixen while alone in his bedroom, but he never truly carried a torch for any of them.

A lack of "assets" didn't prevent Keigo from admiring other pretty girls. They didn't come any flatter than Arisawa or Kuchiki, but their lithe athleticism and elegant features still turned him on. He was a healthy teenage guy, and watching either girl stride across campus in her tiny uniform skirt was a near spiritual experience.

The violence was a problem, though-too much like being bullied by his older sister. Arisawa slapped him around almost as much as Mizuho did, and while Kuchiki played at the demure little lady, Ichigo bore the bruises that proved otherwise.

It was also hazardous to admire either classmate too openly; Ichigo's scowl promised permanent damage whenever he felt Keigo might cross the line with his oldest friend or shinigami partner. As if either girl couldn't smear the ground with Keigo and wouldn't turn their skilled wrath on Ichigo if he condescended to "protect" them. Funny how Kurosaki didn't ever seem to notice the inappropriate attention constantly centered on Inoue. Ah, it was just as well. Ishida unobtrusively and effectively held the Orihime-obsessed hooligans at bay.

Theoretically Keigo could understand the allure of a bold and physically aggressive woman, but he knew he couldn't handle such a one himself. There was always a shade of the insecure, bumbling boy in his mind; Keigo needed attention and affirmation. He needed to be with a woman who let him showcase his masculinity and for whom he could meet tangible needs. And just because he was used to physical abuse didn't mean he _liked_ it.

Keigo imagined his future self settling down with a quietly pretty girl like Ogawa Michiru or even curvy Natsui Mahana. Someone inclined to make a home and eventually mother children. A personality like Ichigo's blond little sister. She could be a looker when she grew up, actually...Whoa, erase and rewind. That line of thinking would get Keigo castrated and killed by Ichigo, then hunted down in Rukongai to be castrated and killed again.

Keigo never questioned that he would someday marry and have kids (marriage was just way, way in the future, after some brag-worthy sexual escapades at university). Otousan and okaasan worked long hours at their dry cleaning business and weren't what you'd call "involved" parents, but they'd always provided Keigo and his sister a solid family identity.

And he felt the absence of that identity every time he visited Mizuiro. Antique rugs, investment art and harmonic ikebana couldn't erase the conviction that Mizuiro lived in a luxury flat-not a home-and that Mizuiro was another objet d'art to round out his independent mother's impressive résumé.

Keigo would always choose belonging over possessing.

So, a girl was a part of that, a life in which Keigo belonged. And if he was lucky she'd have fantastic breasts.

* * *

BTW Keigo rocked the last two manga chapters (545-6) and looked darn attractive, too. Who's with me?


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